D3 body, D1 cock
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
