Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
