Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I will pee on everything he values.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
