That's intense
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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