I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
