How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
