Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize