so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
