she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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