You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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