it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
