Dual....:-)
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
