Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
