why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
