I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
