please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize