go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
