ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
