you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
