I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
