Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
