his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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