Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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