Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
