I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
