I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
