I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
no, he came in my armpit
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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