i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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