He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
