Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
