My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
