I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
