I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
