Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
