Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
