I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he shaved USA in his pubs
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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