She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
