I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
