I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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