im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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