According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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