So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i think my cat just said my name.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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