OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
