I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Let's get the cat blown out
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
