dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
