never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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