Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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