Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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