dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize