he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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