areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
