Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
