Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize