It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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