Im at strip club and am horny
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you will always have a special place in my vag
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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