Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
