mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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