I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
