Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize